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"Truly, I too have learned to wait, I have learned it from the very heart, but only to wait for myself." -Nietzsche




After six years of wearing the hat of stay at home mother, I have jumped into the world of working outside of my home.  I work some inside my home too. What I am doing is flexible, so far. From doing well at one small job has spawned two others. I currently have three part time jobs and an art show on my agenda. This isn't including actively being a wife, mother and step-mother.
(playing in the matrix- below-)

["everything the body can do is potentially enjoyable.  Yet many people ignore this capacity, and use their physical equipment as little as possible, leaving its ability to provide flow unexploited.  When left undeveloped, the senses give us chaotic information: an untrained body moves in random and clumsy ways, an insensitive eye presents ugly or uninteresting sights, the unmusical ear mainly hears jarring noises, the coarse palate knows only insipid tastes."  P. 95 FLOW ]


["If the functions of the body are left to atrophy, the quality of life becomes merely adequate, and for some even dismal.  But if one takes control of what the body can do, and learns to impose order on physical sensations, entropy yields to a sense of enjoyable harmony in consciousness.  ...adding an elaborate ritual dimension to the activity, the simple act of moving the body across space becomes a source of complex feedback that provides optimal experience and adds strength to the self.  Each sensory organ, each motor function can be harnessed to the production of flow."]

(playing in France's doll house when she was at school- below-)


[ "Flow has been experienced throughout history and across cultures. The teachings of Buddhism and Taoism speak of a state of mind known as the "action of inaction" or "doing without doing" that greatly resembles the idea of flow." ) ]


No wonder I had picked up books about Buddhism at that garage sale on a random Wednesday afternoon.

I was learning two trades simultaneously. 
 How strange it is to be able to have time and space to follow through with these thoughts. 

To pursue my own goals. 

["According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task[2] although flow is also described as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one's emotions."]

(playing with spray paint in my side yard before heading to work-below-)


I was finally embracing the movements of flow, a feeling, an emotion, an experience I longed for. 
Where are you at on this chart?
"Flow theory postulates three conditions that have to be met to achieve a flow state:

One must be involved in an activity with a clear set of goals. This adds direction and structure to the task.[11]
The task at hand must have clear and immediate feedback. This helps the person negotiate any changing demands and allows him or her to adjust his or her performance to maintain the flow state.[11]
One must have a good balance between the perceived challenges of the task at hand and his or her own perceived skills. One must have confidence that he or she is capable to do the task at hand.[11]"












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